I'm going on a trip to Europe, starting in Dublin for the Dublin International Gay Theatre Festival. I'm going with David Kodeski's True Life Tales: Another Lousy Day. If you haven't seen the show and are going to be in either Chicago on the 3rd or 4th of May, you should come see it. Otherwise you should go listen to thousands of women read from the pages of the found diary of a thirtysomething Southside-Chicago woman living in the 1960s and 70s.
I'm going on a trip to Europe, and from Dublin I'm going to Paris and then Montpellier and on to Toulon. I booked a hostel in Paris, and I've found two very nice guys for the southern portion. I bought plane tickets from Dublin to Paris and then Milan to Dublin so I can make the flight back to the USA. Easy. Cheap. Here I am. Still into it. So I have about six nights of "free" accommodations in the south of France.
But that isn't why I'm terrified. I don't know why I'm terrified. At first I was terrified because I had to update my passport in a short amount of time. Thanks to the hardworking people at the State Department Passport Office (in Philadelphia) I received it in under two weeks! I was afraid that I wouldn't get it in time OR just in time. So that fear (lower-case "f") subsided but there still exists the Fear that I feel at midnight. I am awake for a few hours not sure what I'm afraid of. I talked with my friend Fannie about it the other day: I thought I might be afraid because of money but I've been saving up and it shouldn't be a problem.
I'm afraid because I don't know how it's going to work. Any of it. I'm going to be stranded without knowing the language. I'm going to miss my flight and be totally fucked for the rest of the trip. I will be Shelterless. I will be Bored. I will be Lonely. I will be Lost. I will be Naked. I will be Gay. I will be... at this beach:
I will be all right. I have a backpack and a deep-seeded need for a Quest. I have a passport. I have good walking shoes. I have an extra pair of glasses. I have a few books. I have detergent for laundry. I have a borrowed camera. I have the weight of the task of representing the United States as a traveller on my shoulders.
Is that a problem? I don't know! Anything about me could make me a target! When I'm on a nude beach somewhere I'll be labelled as a greasy American and laughed at and pointed at! I've never been naked in the ocean before! I've never been naked in public before! I'm going to be Naked and American and English-speaking! What is French for "Hello, I need some sunscreen for my American Ass!"
Alone and Naked in Europe.
